Affirming Communication

Affirming Communication

The observation that I observed took place inside a grocery store (Wal-Mart). The parent and her child were walking pass the toys department and he spotted a toy that he liked. The mom stops to look at the picture frames which are across from the toys. While his mom is watching frames he runs back to toys to grab the toy.  "He said mommy can I have this toy?" She says "No son, not today." He says "Mommy, Please!" She again says "No, not today!" At this point she has become a little angry, he sees this and throws the toy in the buggy anyway. She then yells to him "Didn't I tell you there will be no toys today?!" Because her tone is now harsh and with more base he begins to scream and cry uncontrollably. She continues to yell for him to be quiet, but his screams and cries only get louder.

When we use tones that are harsh it makes the child feel like that really messed up and there is no coming back from it. This is what I noticed in this situation. Whenever the mom would get loud and raise her voice, the boy would do the opposite as if she was joking. If she would have continued in her friendly and calm voice, he would have been more suceptible to listening to his mother. Children understand that when parents get loud, it's a problem. 

From the article "The nature of teacher talk during small groups" it says that teachers should use language that encourages children through specific feedback (Danjei & Durden, 2010). Although this article is for the teachers, parents, guardians, grandparents can still read the information and get a understanding of how we should talk with kids. It is important that we give feedback to these children to why they can or can't do or have something.

The observation made me realize that it is important to keep that teacher tone, a tone that is nurturing and shows that you care about the child and their feelings. Overall I learned that I do pretty well when talking with children, but I have learned that I need to work on is being more observant and listening to the situations before jumping to conclusions and assuming about incidents I did not see. 




Rainer Dangei, J., & Durden, T. R. (2010). The nature of teacher talk during small group activities. YC: Young Children, 65(1), 74-81.